it’s been a while since I have done an author commentary. I have been pretty busy with work and my life since the last author commentary (I think it was chapter 7). But this chapter is my favorite chapter, and I have been chomping at the bit to finally share with you. This chapter moved me so much because this is the climax of Tony and Kendis’s relationship arc.
I have spent over a year watching these two slowly but surely fall in love. And instead of getting less detached from this story. I have only become more focused on it. I have fallen in love with my version of these two popular characters.
Anyway, I am going to give you an author commentary for Chapter 29 of The Temporary Spouse — Put Up or Shut Up.
Tony should have been asleep, but it was three in the morning, and his mind couldn’t stop spinning with all the thoughts and feelings that had been brought to the surface from spending the day with Kendis.
He brushed his fingertips across her cheek and couldn’t quite repress his smile when she inched closer to him.
‘Adorable,’ he thought to himself. Kendis was hot as hell, and honestly, in a city where beauty was a dime a dozen, there was just something about Kendis that had immediately caught his attention.
In all his years, Tony had never felt such a pull toward another human being. In hindsight, trying to resist Kendis was like defying gravity.
Tony wears love so well. If you were to ask Tony Stark if he was a romantic, he would balk at you, but when that man falls, he falls hard. And I love Tony’s adoration of Kendis. It just gives me all the feels.
Tony had gone into this marriage thinking that this would be a temporary thing. But now, he knew there was nothing temporary about Kendis Black, and that frightened him. ‘Am I really considering making this marriage real?”
Did I just do a title drop? I sure did, and I am unapologetic about it. I took the name from an old Harlequin book because I am a romance author who loves the romance genre and grew up on Harlequin books.
I think I have read a thousand accidental Vegas marriage books. However, what inspired this story was an very old episode of General Hospital when Jason and Brenda had to get married in Vegas. And the pieces all came together to create The Temporary Spouse.
But since Kendis is non-binary, I decided to change it.
He opened his phone’s gallery, revealing a picture. Not of Kendis’s face because she had some magic mojo that distorted any photos or video with her face.
But simply of their hands laced together on the railing as you could see the Hollywood sign in the distance.
He wondered what it would be like with their wedding rings on their fingers. Tony still kept his in the drawer of his desk. It was plain and gold and generic — nothing he would have chosen if Tony had been in his right mind. If he could do it all over again, Tony would give Kendis a ring worthy of her.
‘You’re getting soft, Stark,’ Tony chided himself as he felt his cheeks heat. He was thankful Kendis wasn’t awake, or they would never let him live it down. Tony quickly exited his gallery and accidentally hit the latest text chain.
Tony is never going to beat these, being a romantic allegation! And yes, for all of their talk, both Kendis and Tony still have their wedding rings.
Something I never went into the story itself was that both Tony and Kendis regret that they have zero memory of getting married. Thinking about it now, I regret not addressing this more in the story, and I might add it when I finish the rewrites/tweaking of The Temporary Spouse that I plan to do once I am finished with this story.
And those rings are a reminder that they don’t remember getting married to someone they now love. For Tony in particular, that’s something that nags at him.
Also, this scene is a nod to where they begin and how far both Kendis and Tony have come.
Tony tapped on Rhodey’s contact and waited for his best friend to pick up the phone.
“I thought you were too cool to pick up your phone,” Rhodey sighed into the phone.
“Sorry, it’s been hectic,” Tony said, laughing, but feeling guilty nonetheless. He knew he was wrong to avoid Rhodey, but he was afraid his best friend would side with Obadiah and Pepper. They both disapproved of his sudden marriage, and he didn’t want to face Rhodey’s disappointment.
He wanted someone to reassure him he wasn’t a fool for considering something serious with Kendis.
The one thing I hate about some romance stories (especially cishet stories) is that once the couple gets together that they forget they had a life before they got together. And their friendships and their relationships with their friends disappear.
I think the best example of that is Twilight. Once Bella and Edward got together, she didn’t really give a shit about anything outside of Edward and the Cullens.
When it comes to my particular brand of writing romance, I always make sure the main character’s platonic relationships are just as important as the romantic ones. And while Pepper kinda came off as a bitch (and rightfully so because she wanted to protect Tony), I think for this moment to ring true for Tony. That he would go to Rhodey.
I always go back to Iron Man 1 and how the first person he tried to tell about the suit was Rhodey. Now, did Rhodey handle that well at all? No. But Rhodey is the most important person in his life, and I think this moment would ring true without his presence in this scene.
“Yeah, getting blackout drunk and marrying the first stranger you come across is a bit of a fuckup.”
“That’s not the problem,” Tony replied with a huff. Well, it was part of the problem, and he didn’t know where to begin with spilling everything that had happened.
“You fucked around and caught feelings, didn’t you?”
Tony slapped his forehead and groaned. Because, yeah, he had caught feelings. ‘I’m in love with Kendis’ had been on repeat in his head since he had come to that realization the night before.
Poor Tony, he is really going through it. And Rhodey (who only knows the bare minimum of what’s going on) is very concerned.
For Rhodey, he knows Tony so well and knows that when he falls, he falls fast. And I am going to be honest, if you know Tony’s relationship both in the MCU and the comics (which is what I am using to flesh out Tony’s character more).
Then Tony has the worst luck with relationships. This is why I don’t blame Pepper for being so aggressive with Kendis. Because his best friends know that Tony picks the worst people to fall for.
Tony, you don’t know this woman.”
“I know more than you think,” Tony replied with a bitter laugh. “Kendis doesn’t need or want my money, and she hates fame.”
Tony was getting tired of his friends and family assuming that Kendis was a gold digger. Anyone who got to know her for more than five minutes could tell that Kendis was stubbornly independent.
“Trust me,” Tony said. “She’s not with me for my money or fame. Weird enough, I think she likes me for me.”
Of all the things that freak Tony out the most? It’s that someone can love him for simply being him. Tony never had anyone other than Rhodey, Pepper, and Happy who truly love him, and only Rhodey is not one directly on his payroll.
For Kendis not to love him for the money or fame? Especially, Kendis is truly his equal in both fame and wealth, and Tony doesn’t know what to do with that. Because for all of his swagger, Tony is deeply insecure. The emotional wounds Howard created never really healed.
So to have Kendis care about Tony and not Tony Stark is freaking him out.
What does Jarvis think?”
Tony shrugged. “I think he likes her?”
“I do,” Jarvis broke in, and Tony rolled his eyes because, of course, his A.I. was going to butt his way into his phone calls.
Jarvis explained, “She’s very tolerant of the bots rambunctious behavior and incredibly kind.”
“They watched Short Circuit,” Tony groaned. “She actually sat with them and watched it.”
There was a long beat of silence, and then Rhodey chuckled.
“I’m still going to have to meet her before I make my final judgment, but she sounds she could be a keeper.”
“Trust me, Rhodey, Kendis is way too good for me.”
When I first wrote this chapter, I didn’t expect Jarvis to butt in. But his character basically busted down my mental door, carrying a cup of Earl Grey and giving me a look of supreme judgment.
But I am actually glad I wrote Jarvis in this. It was important to me that the people closest (and Jarvis is not simply a machine but a person) get to weigh in on this massive decision. Again, it was important for me to make sure that I made sure that the readers that Tony’s platonic relationships got their time to shine.
And again, that last line gutted me because Tony truly believes that Kendis is way too good for him and that he doesn’t deserve to be happy.
As for Jarvis? I want to write a short to explore this, but there are not many things that Jarvis cares about. First is his creator *cough* Father *cough*, and the others are his siblings. My frustration with Jarvis and then later Vision is that the MCU never dug deep enough into Tony’s feelings for his bots, or Jarvis/Vision’s feelings for Tony.
Jarvis is just as Tony’s child as Morgan. But the writers left that on the table, never to be picked up again.
The thing is, the moment that Kendis treated the bots like people and not as tools to be used was the moment Jarvis started to realize that Kendis was different. If she were awful to the bots, Jarvis would have made her life a living hell because, although Dum-e, maybe the oldest, in spirit, Jarvis is a very protective older brother.
But despite Rhodey’s chastisement, Tony knew that he was right. Kendis Black was way too good for him, and he knew if they stayed together, he would end up fucking it up.
“I love her, Rhodey,” Tony suddenly blurted out.
He could hear the smile in Rhodey’s voice when he said, “That’s a good thing.”
“Is it?!” Tony wailed. “What the fuck do I know about marriage? The only example of a marriage I had growing up was of my parents, and you know what a shitshow theirs was.”
“That’s not fair,” Rhodey said. “Just because your parents barely tolerated each other doesn’t mean your marriage is going to be like that.”
“But—”
“That’s not fair,” Rhodey said. “Just because your parents barely tolerated each other doesn’t mean your marriage is going to be like that.”
“But—”
“Tony,” Rhodey interjected. “Marriages are just relationships with legal papers attached.”
“And I famously suck at relationships,” Tony pointed out.
“You famously picked the most horrible people to be in relationships with,” Rhodey corrected. “If this Kendis Black is as good as you say, and you love her, then give her an honest chance. “
Aww, Tony said that he loved Kendis out loud for the first time. But I get why Tony is scared. His parents had an awful relationship, and Tony’s exes were all awful. But I am really proud of him for saying this out loud.
And a slow clap for Rhodey for saying the right thing here. In this scene, I wanted Tony to realize that every marriage is different. Yes, there are lots of marriages that resemble the nuclear family, but even though I am single, I have seen so many types of romantic relationships.
I have seen marriages in which they are open and they have sex with other people; I have seen married people who don’t even live together, and childless marriages that raise animals instead of people.
Marriage is what you make it, and I think for all of Tony’s knowledge. He is still thinking that he has to adhere to a nuclear model, and he doesn’t. I firmly believe marriage is what you make it.
And I think once Tony internalizes, he will be more confident in his relationship with Kendis.
“Weren’t you just trying to talk me out of this?”
“I still have my concerns,” Rhodey said. “But I trust Jarvis, and I know that your first instinct is to self-sabotage.”
“I’m scared shitless,” Tony admitted as he shakily ran his hand through his hair.
“Tony,” Rhodey said. “I may never have been married, but I have it on pretty good authority that marriage is what you make it. It doesn’t have to be a Leave It to Beaver thing. If you want her, then you should tell her that. You deserve to be happy.”
Tony sighed. “Thanks, cookie crisp.”
“You’re welcome,” Rhodey replied. “That is what friends are for.”
Tony and Rhodey talked for a bit longer just catching up. He missed his best friend and he was so glad he got to see him soon. He was going to escort him to the Jericho demonstration.
Before ya’ll start! Yes, we will see Rhodey and Kendis meet. I have an aside story planned for that, but I am concentrating on getting Temporary Spouse done first. Anyway, all I’m going to say is that I love Rhodey and I have so many plans to flesh out his character.
I kept waiting for the MCU to do it or Marvel (they really didn’t do much with Rhodey’s character to my utter frustration). So I am going to take the scraps Marvel gave me and do something with it.
I adore Rhodey, and he deserves better.
After he hung up, all Tony could do was stand there and let Rhodey’s words sink in. He felt so torn. Tony felt like marrying Kendis would end badly for both of them, but then he considered Rhodey’s advice. ‘Should I give my marriage a chance?’
Tony turned when he heard soft footsteps approaching. Dressed in his T-shirt and nothing else was Kendis. She was sleepy-eyed and gorgeous as she hurried over to him.
She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her face to his back. “The bed was cold without you.”
Tony squeezed her fingers. “Sorry, I couldn’t sleep.”
“Everything okay?”
Tony shrugged, “Yeah.”
“Uh, huh,” She replied, dubiously.
I love the boyfriend shirt trope so much, and I refuse to stop using it. Also, I have it on good authority from my married friends that stealing your husband’s t-shirts is a rite of passage. 😅
Also, Kendis knows something has been bothering him (I should have written that part), but she has been keeping her peace. They have only been together for such a short time, but I love how attuned to each other they already are.
Tony turned around slowly and took her face in his hands.
“Tony?”
He licked his suddenly dry lips as Tony finally met her curious gaze. “What if you stayed?”
“Here at the mansion?” Kendis asked with a frown.
“Yes…No,” Tony ran his hand through his hair in frustrated and then threw up his hands in the air. “I want to give this thing between us a real shot. I want to make it real.”
“You want to stay married to me?”
Kendis put a finger to his lips, and there was a flash of emotion on her face; something he couldn’t quite parse.
I am screaming so loudly right now! I am just so proud of Tony for finally finding the courage to confess his feelings. Maybe one day, Tony will be able to have some type of emotional intelligence.
“If you had asked me a month ago, I would have said no.” Kendis shook her head wryly. “And let me remind you that being in a relationship with me usually ends up with people dead.”
She shushed Tony before he could respond to that. “But for the last few days, I have been thinking about how I have been running for ten long years.” Kendis shook her head. ” Out of all the things I despise Chester for. I hate he took away my feeling of safety. When I should have been living, I just ended up creating a prison of my own making.”
Tony watched her as she looked away and then turned to meet his eyes. “I am tired of lying to myself. I’m tired of running.” Kendis took a deep breath. “The past couple of days showed me what I’ve been missing, and I don’t want to go back to just surviving, not really living.”
“I love you, Tony.” Kendis’s eyes glistened with unshed tears.” And I refuse to let you go.”
Okay, I am legit crying here. 😭 I am just so proud of these clowns for finally coming clean. And Kendis has grown so much since the beginning. I think of all the things I am proud of myself for when it comes to this writing; this story is how far the characters have grown since the beginning.
I was re-reading the first six chapters, and I was struck by how closed off Kendis was. And now she is opening up here. I am just so moved by that.
Tony pressed his forehead against hers and took a long breath. Tony felt the words on the tip of his tongue. He grabbed onto all of his courage and finally pushed them out of his mouth.
“I-I love you too,” he stammered.
At that moment, Tony barely recognized the new man that love had made of him. With none of his usual bravado, Tony hesitantly admitted, “I love you so much that it terrifies me.”
And Kendis beamed up at him, her smile brighter than the moonlight.
YAAASS! Fucking finally! You would think, as the writer of this fic, that I would be immune to the sexual and romantic tension between these two. And you would be WRONG! I was dying alongside for these two clowns to finally get their shit together and confess their feelings.
I am so proud of my babies. 😭
“Stay,” Tony asked again.
“I’ll stay for as long as you want.”
‘Forever then,’ Tony thought to himself as pressed his lips to hers. Kendis had come into his life like a hurricane. She shook up his bland, colorless life, which had been filled with parties and anonymous hookups, upside down.
Now, he knew what his life could be with her by his side, Tony would be damned if he let his fear and self-doubt get in the way of spending the rest of his life with Kendis.
And if Obadiah or Pepper didn’t like that? Well, that was their problem.
I know that’s right! Tony is going to fight for his spouse, and we love to see it. Also, the ‘forever’ part made my heart melt. Talking about hitting me in the goddamn feels. I can’t tell you how many times I have come to this chapter and re-read this and then squealed into my pillow like some demented fangirl.
And that is my commentary for Chapter 29 – Put up or Shut Up. Please let me know your thoughts about this chapter by leaving a comment below.
