People assumed that since Tony Stark was devastatingly handsome and charming, it was easy for him to make friends. The truth was quite the opposite.

Tony was good at pulling one-night stands and making a laundry list of acquaintances and business connections. And the few people that he did count as friends (Rhodey, Pepper, and Happy) were all on his payroll.

But when he pulled up to the curb of a condo in Marina del Ray, he would admit to himself that he was nervous. It was very rare that he hung out with people he was not trying to make business connections with.

Tony pulled all of his billionaire Playboy charm and swagger around him like a shield and got out of his shiny silver Porsche Panamera. He grabbed the bottle of 1975 Chateau de Beaulon and walked into the building.

Tony ignored the looks from the people who recognized him and got on the elevator. There was a beep from his phone, and he couldn’t suppress the soft smile that replaced his usually cocky smirk as he looked at his screen.

Kendis: Have fun! 😘

Tony: I plan to! Don’t miss me too much!

Tony slid his phone back into the pocket of his jeans with a shake of his head. He should really study Kendis’s ability to turn Tony into a sap at the drop of a hat.

The elevator doors opened with a ping, startling him as he saw Wei Ying waiting. He looked Tony up and down and whistled, “You are certainly here to impress.”

“Oh, this old thing?” Tony gestured at his Italian leather jacket, black Versace t-shirt, Dior distressed jeans, and Golden Goose sneakers and shrugged. “Nothing special.”

Wei Ying grabbed the bottle from his hand, surprising him as he exited the elevator. He whistled, “And you bought the good booze, nice.”

“Come on,” Wei Ying tucked the bottle under his arm, and Tony followed him as they walked down the hall of closed doors to stop in front of 1301B. “Lana is waiting for us, and she hates it when we are late.”

Wei Ying knocked on the door and they waited in awkward silence. Tony tried to figure out a way to break the ice, but every time he opened his mouth, he found himself not being able to find anything to say that wouldn’t expose him as being a complete and utter dork.

‘And this is why I don’t have a lot of friends,’ Tony thought ruefully to himself.

The door opened, and Tony’s jaw dropped as the most beautiful woman he had ever seen stood in the doorway. She was tall and statuesque, with long dark hair and stunning blue eyes. And even dressed in only a tank top and leggings, her toned athletic body just screamed man-eater.

If Tony wasn’t already desperately in love with Kendis, he would have tried to shoot his shot with Lana. ‘Why does everyone Kendis know is ridiculously hot?’ It was not fair to his poor bisexual libido.

“You’re late,” The woman looked him up and down and snorted.

“We are only five minutes late, Lana.” Wei Ying rolled his eyes. “Cut us some slack.”

Wei Ying slapped him on the shoulder, “This is my friend, Tony.”

As a slow, predatory smile crept onto her face, Tony couldn’t help but step back. “Nice, you brought someone with deep pockets.”

It took every bit of control to keep his usual cocky grin on his face and not turn and run. Tony’s instincts told him that Lana was a walking, talking red flag.

Lana spun on her heel and walked away.

“What the hell did you get me into?” Tony whispered to Wei Ying. The man only flashed his usual wide, Colgate smile at him.

“Scared, Stark?”

Tony snorted, “You wish.”

And then Wei Ying swaggered past him, and Tony rolled his eyes as he followed the other man into the condo. He shut the door and walked down a short foyer into a cozy, dark-blue-and-white living room where Wei Ying and three other people were sitting and talking.

There were two men and one woman. The two men both had dark hair and dark eyes. One of the men had short, spiky hair, wore a blue button-up short-sleeved shirt, jeans, and white sneakers that flashed neon blue. He gave Tony a jaunty wave, grabbed a yellow Tweedy bird Pez dispenser, and popped one in his mouth.

He gave a cheerful hum and then went back to talking to the other man. This man couldn’t be any more different from his friend. He had long, straight, silky dark brown hair that went past his shoulders. His skin was dark copper, and his round eyes were rimmed with black eyeliner. He had gold hoops in his nose and ears, and his nails were painted black.

He glanced at Tony and snorted. “Who invited the white boy?”

Wei Ying peered his head out of the kitchen and waved. “I did.”

“Cristopher,” the woman chided. The woman was pretty in an understated way. She had a short buzz cut with a sharp fade on the sides, dark eyes similar to the two other men, and dark mahogany skin. She was wearing an oversized red t-shirt, a golden chain, large baggy jeans that were sagging low so you could see her white boxers, and a pair of black Jordans.

“Hey, Lana and Jarod are all the white folks we need around here.”

“That’s because I am hosting this shindig,” Lana called out from the kitchen.

The woman rolled her eyes. “Hi, you’re Tony Stark.”

Tony Stark nodded, “Yep, I am. And you are?”

“Jude Alvarez,” Jude nodded, “And my pronouns are they/them.”

“He/Him.” Tony shrugged as his eyes traveled to the two men who had to have been Jarod and Cristopher.

“I’m Jarod.” Jarod stood up and eagerly shook his hand. “And my pronouns are he/him.”

“Just Jared?” Tony inwardly laughed because it reminded him of that god-awful gossip blog.

“Just Jarod,” Jarod shrugged, not getting the joke or the reference. But Tony brushed it off because not everyone was constantly trolling gossip blogs. It was strange he only went by his first name, but this was L.A. and there had to be plenty of people trying to go the Madonna route.

“And that asshole over there is Cristopher Dry,” Jude gestured to the Gerard Way wannabe.

“Call me Cris or joke about my last name, and you’re dead,” Cristopher stated seriously.

“Wow, tough crowd.”

Wei Ying came out of the kitchen with a glass of his cognac and a bowl of pretzels, followed by Lana, who had a platter of fruits and veggies.

She met his eyes and shot him a wry smile. “I’m a doctor, I’ve got to at least attempt to keep this group of numb nuts healthy.”

Cristopher grabbed his ball in an obvious rude gesture, and Lana gave him the finger in return.

“Are you done gossiping like chickens, or are you ready to lose your money?” Lana rolled her eyes and then walked down the hall. The group followed her into a pretty decent-sized dining room, but it was the spectacular view of the Marina that caught his immediate attention, and then his gaze traveled across the space.

Two black and white photos of what he recognized from his previous visits were taken in various locations around Greece and Bulgaria. In the center of the room was a large rectangle brown wooden table and eight chairs sitting around it.

On the table was a bowl of snacks, poker chips, and a set of playing cards.

“Sit wherever you like,” Lana said, shrugging.

Tony sat down next to Cristopher, who shot him a nasty look and rolled his eyes. He could’ve at least sat by Wei Ying, the only familiar face, if he’d had a shred of self-preservation. But Cristopher clearly hated him, and Tony respected that more than the fake praise he usually got.

“I assume you all brought your wallets and your dignity,” Tony said with a grin as Lana shuffled the cards. “I plan on taking both.”

Wei Ying shot him a wide shit-eating grin, Lana shot him a smirk that quite frankly terrified him, Jarod lifted an eyebrow and popped another pez (and who above the age of five still ate pez), and Jude shook their head.

“You are awfully full of yourself, Stark,” Cristopher said, with a sneer.

“Nah, I just know what I bring to the table,” Tony shrugged.

Lana’s smirk got even wider, and Tony violently pushed down the inkling of doubt that tried to creep into his mind. He had a feeling that showing any weakness at his table would only end badly.

“Five-dollar buy-in,” Lana said mildly. “Dealer’s choice is Texas Hold’em all night. Blinds start at twenty-five and fifty.”

Tony grinned. “Oh, we’re playing cute.”

They weren’t.

*****

The first few hands started light. Tony splashing chips around, raising pre-flop with hands that had no business being raised. King-eight offsuit? Sure. Jack-five suited? Why not! He bumped it up to three times the big blind just to watch their reactions.

Jarod folded marginal hands without hesitation.

Wei Wuxian called more often than he should have, smiling faintly, as if he enjoyed watching chaos unfold.

Lana played the game tight with a patience that frankly impressed Tony.

Then came the first real hand.

Tony looked down at Ace-King of spades. “Well, hello,” he murmured.

He raised to $150 pre-flop.

“Oh, I don’t like my chances.” Jarod gave a sigh that Tony didn’t buy for one second. The more Tony observed the group, the more he realized that both Wei Ying and Jarod gave off the vibe of evil geniuses.

Instead of scaring Tony, it delighted him. It wasn’t often that he was truly challenged by people he liked. David Xanatos and Reed Richards came close, but they were both insufferable jackasses.

The five of them trash-talked each other, sure. But Tony found himself liking Cristopher’s biting sarcasm even more.

“I’ll raise you $600,” Lana smirked at him. “Terrified, yet?

“Nope,” Tony said, “but that is a pretty bold bet.”

Wei Wuxian leaned back, eyes bright. “Very bold.”

The game got serious then, and Tony would never admit it, but he was sweating a bit. As he predicted, Lana was a goddamn shark, and she didn’t give him an inch of slack.

As the hours passed, chips shifted, and the blinds increased.

It was the most fun Tony had had in ages! Turns out, despite his acerbic wit, Cristopher was a former Navy man who was a freelance software developer and cybersecurity expert. They got into a heated argument over the viability of Leon Michaelson’s quantum resonance anomaly detection tool, which Lana had to break up with an icy glare that threatened violence.

Jude also worked in IT as a Network Administrator for the county. They had met Cristopher in the Navy, and had been best friends ever since. There was a diffident vibe between Jude and Cristopher that he couldn’t help but wonder about.

It was in the way the two were always touching each other and the silent conversations they held. Tony’s curiosity was killing him, and he wanted to ask but thought better of it.

Jarod was funny and could literally talk about anything. Despite Jarod’s penchant for evil, Tony and Jarod were very similar. He was clearly a genius and did nothing to hide it. Tony had a fascinating conversation with him about nuclear fusion.

The other man had the ability to talk forever if they started, and a serious lack of pop culture knowledge. The man never watched Star Wars! Jarod was also strangely vague about his life and his past, but Wei Ying teased him relentlessly about his wife, Parker.

“Think Emma Peel but deadlier,” Wei Ying whispered to him.

Jarod threw his head back and laughed, “She will shoot you if you ever tell her that.”

Wei Ying looked at his cards and winked at Jarod, “I love to live dangerously.”

Jarod caught a clean double-up when he slow-played pocket Aces, checking the flop and letting Tony barrel into him on a dry board. Tony paid him off with top pair, top kicker, and muttered about statistical betrayal.

Cristopher and Jude gave him a real run for Tony’s money at one point, but in the end, Jude and Cristopher lost the game.

“Son of a fucking bitch,” Cristopher swore when he put his truly shitty hand on the table. Tony winced; getting a 7-2 off suit was the absolute worst.

However, it was Wei Ying who became the real problem.

He read people like sheet music. Wei Ying floated flops with a middle pair. He check-raised turns with terrifying accuracy. Once, Wei Ying bluffed Tony off a full house by representing a straight flush on a four-flush board. Tony swore in at least three languages as he had to fold face up.

“I hate you a little,” Tony admitted.

Wei Ying beamed. “Only a little?”

By midnight, it was down to three: Tony, Wei Ying, and Lana.

Lana finally knocked Jarod out when she trapped him with pocket Kings against his Ace-Queen.

Now the stacks were deep, and the air grew tighter.

Tony was short-stacked but dangerous, but Wei Wuxian was slightly ahead. However, Tony kept an eye on Lana. He had a feeling that woman was a wild card and he should underestimate her at his own peril.

And sure enough, Lana’s set of Jacks held, and Tony knew that his ass was cooked. He leaned back and stared at the cards stunned. Then he threw his head back and laughed. “Shit, that was brutal, but I respect it.”

Wei Ying exhaled slowly. “So close.”

It was down to Lana and Wei Ying. And the game got even more brutal. All semblance of Wei Ying’s usual jovial nonchalance was gone and replaced with a hard intensity.

The others around the table had long gone quiet as they watched the showdown.

Wei Ying nearly broke her twice—once with a perfectly timed check-raise bluff on a paired board that forced her to fold top pair. Another time he rivered a straight and extracted maximum value.

Wei Ying showed queen-nine. Tony whistled, totally impressed by Lana’s stone-cold face when she showed her pocket sixes.

Wei Ying blinked, and they swore for a whole five minutes in a Chinese dialect Tony had never heard before.

Tony burst out laughing “That is how you end a game!”

Lana gathered her pile of poker chips with serene grace.

“Overconfidence,” she said gently, meeting Wei Wuxian’s gaze. “Is a habit one must outgrow.”

He bowed his head slightly, smiling despite himself. “I almost had you.”

“Yes,” she agreed. “You did.”

“How the fuck did you learn to play poker like that?” Tony had to asked her in awe.

Her mouth curled into a slow smile. “I have many skills.”

Tony raised his glass of cognac, “I want a rematch.”

“Well, he’s not half bad,” Cristopher reluctantly admitted.

“I would love to talk more about your theories on nuclear fusion,” Jarod shrugged.

“NERD,” Jude fake-coughed.

“You have a whole digital bestiary of mythical animals,” Jarod pointed out dryly. “You don’t have room to talk.”

Jude narrowed their eyes. “You hacked it.”

Jarod smirked. “It wasn’t that hard.”

Tony just stared at these five people in amazement because, for the first time, he felt like he truly fit in. Felt odd being in a room with people who just vibed with him, no strings attached.

They sat around the living room shooting the shit for a while before Lana finally kicked them out because her wife Kimberly had texted her and told Lana that she was on her way home.

Later, as Tony slipped into his car, his phone beeped.

Instead of a message from Kendis, he realized that Wei Ying had added him to a group chat called ‘The Cerebral Flush.’

Tony: What’s this?

Wei Ying: You survived a whole night with all five of us. You are now one of us!

Jude: *meme of a group of white men pounding the table with words over it that said, “one of us”.*

Welcome aboard, dude. We promise we are not plotting world domination.

Cristopher: Speak for yourself.

Lana: You didn’t run screaming. That’s better than the last guy Wei Ying brought around.

Jarod: I can bring Parker next time! 😊

Lana: No!

Cristopher: No!

Wei Ying: Hell no!

Jude: I will literally cry. Don’t make me cry, J-man!

Tony laughed and shook his head. He somehow, in a night of drinking and losing spectacularly in poker, had made five friends.

‘Will the wonders never cease?’ Tony thought to himself as he began the long drive back to Malibu.