“I can’t believe you talked me into this,” Kendis sighed as she took a sip of her rum and Coke. “I could be at home with a good book.”

“Now, you are beginning to sound like Hermione,” Ron snorted, as he took a long pull of his beer and grimaced. He glared down at the beer in his hand. “How do you drink this shit?”

“I don’t,” Kendis snorted. “I have lived in America long enough to know how to avoid it.”

Ron laughed, “Smart.” He gave the beer one last glare, but he drank it anyway.

Kendis turned to her two friends. “Vegas, really? You could have had a tasteful wedding at your mother’s country club. But for some reason, you want to get married in the most cliché way possible.”

“Hey, it’s not cliché!” Seamus protested after taking yet another shot of whiskey. “It’s iconic.”

“It was either elope in Vegas or homicide,” Dean said, taking a sip of a bright orange cocktail.

“Hey, no admitting to premeditated murder in front of the Auror,” Ron protested. “I would like to have some type of plausible deniability.”

“My wedding colors are yellow and pink,” Seamus shuddered. “I think she thinks since I’m a poof that means that I’m a bloody girl.”

“Did she mistake you for Kendis?” Ron snorted, and Kendis flipped him off. It was on the tip of her tongue to correct him. She may have a feminine body and use she/they pronouns, but that didn’t make her a girl.

And every time Kendis tried to explain what being trans feminine meant, Ron’s eyes glazed over.

Her best friend used the correct pronouns and never deadnamed her, but Kendis knew that Ron didn’t get it.

“But going to a strip joint for your stag party?” Kendis sighed, “I thought you had better taste than that.”

Being stuck at Juicy Lucy’s on a Tuesday night was not what she thought was fun. With the pounding music, strobe lights, and the smell of smoke and stale alcohol. The strip joint was a sensory nightmare for an autistic person like her.

Kendi just wanted to spend the rest of their night in a dark hotel room listening to their favorite playlist. Instead, to manage the overwhelming stimulation, Kendis resorted to table tapping as a stim.

“Oh, come off it!” Ron rolled his eyes. “I saw you eyeing a few of the strippers. Besides, you can pretend to be above it all when I know you installed a pole in your bedroom.”

Neville, who had been quiet through this entire exchange, snorted out his lurid pink cocktail. “Blimey, Kendis.”

” Ron!” Kendis hissed,” You are such a blabbermouth.”

”Sorry,” Ron replied sheepishly.

Kendis rolled her eyes and looked back at the stripper, who was skillfully twisting her body on the bar. She is beautiful, with most of her dark mocha brown skin on display with only a neon green bikini top and g-string on.

Her long, silky, dark hair cascaded back as she arched her body, drawing Kendis’s gaze to her generous cleavage that was barely restrained in the bikini.

Kendis felt her cheeks go hot, but she dutifully threw a few twenties on the stage. Being bi and experiencing a sexual drought was so frustrating. On one hand, Kendis didn’t have gender getting in the way of possibly hooking up with someone.

But dating in Los Angeles was, in a word, awful. And after her last disastrous attempt at dating, Kendis has pretty much resorted to using her right hand and her collection of toys to get by.

The way her body was buzzing at the mere presence of the stripper on stage told Kendis that she was long overdue for a good shag.

“You alright there, mate?” Ron said, slapping them on the back.

Kendis turned back to her friends. “Fine.”

“Now, I bet you 15 galleons that you won’t get up on the pole.” Seamus challenged.

Kendis shot a furious look at her laughing friends. Then she turned to Dean. “Are you sure you want me to get up there and shake my arse in front of your fiancé?

“Sure! Seamus is gay, so you don’t really do it for him.” Dean laughed and then looked her up and down with a smirk.

“And what about you?” Kendis glared at him. “Dean’s bi—“

Seamus rolled his eyes and threw his arm around Dean’s waist. “Don’t bother me none. Besides, Dean can look, but he knows I’ll kill him if he touches.”

Dean’s eyes softened, and he turned and gave a sweet kiss. Seamus melted into Dean’s touch. Kendis looked away as she tried to ignore the feeling of longing that rose inside of her.

Turning to Ron, she saw his grimace. “You’re like my sister. If you are going up there, then I’m going to head to the loo.”

Kendis rolled her eyes and then turned to Neville, who was fidgeting with the stim of his glass.

“Nev?”

He sighed and shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind seeing it. Ginny would be jealous that she missed it.”

Kendis was shocked because she thought Ginny had lost any remaining attraction to Kendis after she transitioned.

Kendis drained the last of her drink and then slammed the glass on the table.

“Fine,” Kendis said as she stood up on her feet. She was thankful she only had a buzz and was still stable enough to do this without embarrassing herself.

“That’s my cue,” Ron stumbled to his feet and made a beeline for the loo.

Kendis shook her head and quickly crossed the mostly empty club over to the bar.

She nodded to the bartender. “Can I borrow your pole for a song or two?”

The bartender blinked and then laughed. “I am guessing you’re not talking about my dick.”

“Nah mate,” Kendis chuckled, and gestured at the pole where the stripper from before went down into a split. Kendis’ eyes went wide and then looked away.

“I don’t know,” said the bartender. “Let me ask Lucy.”

After a quick discussion with Lucy (an older woman in her fifties who oddly resembled Julie Newmar), and after giving Lucy more money than Kendis usually liked to spend, Lucy finally gave Kendis the go-ahead.

Kendis found herself being escorted backstage. Standing there while a few other strippers shot her a few bewildered looks, Kendis called herself a thousand types of fool.

“Boys, gals, and non-binary pals! Get ready for a show like no other! For one night only, we’ve got a special treat, all the way from England! Kendis Black!”

Kendis took a deep breath and stepped onto the stage. If Kendis could defeat a powerful dark wizard at seventeen, then she could pole dance for five minutes.

Kendis took a deep breath and stepped onto the stage. Kendis’s friends dared her to do something, and she never refused a challenge.

* Rewritten: 07/16/2025