Trigger Warnings: Murder, Child Abuse, Stalking, Stabbings.
At the age of one year old, Kendis Black’s parents were murdered trying to protect her. Her mother was murdered in front of her and for a while Kendis heard her mother’s screams every time she came near a dementor. I could not imagine knowing what my mother sounded like when she died and the pain that came with it. Especially since I am very close to my mother.
On top of that, Kendis spent her childhood being neglected and abused. And it’s very clear that J.K. Rowling thinks it’s funny. You only have to look through the subtext of every Dursley scene in the book to see that the Dursley’s the comedic relief. By the way, I am very good at literary analyses and this ain’t my first rodeo.
J.K. Rowling never took Harry Potter’s trauma seriously. And you would think she would since J.K. Rowling escaped a very abusive relationship with her ex-husband. Yet, I’m not surprised: bigots don’t think logically.
Now, let’s get back to Kendis’s trauma, shall we? It’s a very long list, after all. When Hagrid announced that she was a wizard, Kendis thought she would be finally safe. Yet, she spent the next seven years being attacked over and over again by Voldemort, the most powerful dark wizard in generations, and his followers. These were grown-ass people deliberating targeting a child for YEARS!
And then on top of that, Kendis watched her schoolmate and then later her godfather die right in front of her (and her one last hope of having a happy childhood), and then the man who was her mentor and pseudo grandfather die at the hands of her classmate (again right in front of her). Then only finds out that all this time her mentor had fully intended to sacrifice her to kill Voldemort.
Kendis spent a year on the run with her friends, very much food insecure, and terrified. By the way? Her best friend was tortured because of her (and she got to hear Hermione’s screams), and then for the first time in their life, Kendis had to kill someone.
Now, this is where I will stop and tell you that killing a person (no how awful a human being they are) takes a toll on you. I don’t know this personally, but I have done my research on this topic and you never quite get over it. There is a reason why cops and people in the military have a high rate of mental illness and suicide.
I want to frame this all that Kendis was a child during most of this.
Now, imagine yourself picking up the pieces and trying to move on. Everyone tells you that should move on now and live a normal life. And you do, and by some luck, you fall in love with someone. Then a person comes in and kills that person in front of you. How many people have died in front of Kendis? The answer is way too goddamn many!
The point of this post is that I have been getting a lot of comments on my story: “Kendis already went through so much so a stalker shouldn’t be a big deal. “ I also get people thinking that Kendis is too badass to suffer from domestic abuse.
And let me tell you a story. There is a woman named Christy Martin and she was a championship boxer and one of the most prominent boxers in the United States to this very day. Her husband James Martin who was her trainer at the time had been abusing her for years. You would think that a woman who punches people for a living wouldn’t be a victim of domestic abuse. And no one took it seriously until this man stabbed her in their own home.
I hear a lot of people say, “Can’t you just kick his ass?”
I am a survivor of many things but one of them is abuse. I am known for being loud-mouthed and opinionated but while I was being abused this person stripped me of all of my will to fight. Because in the end, trauma doesn’t give a shit about how strong you are, how fast you are, or how badass you are. if you are not in the right mindset to fight? Then you won’t. Abuse and stalking are not just physical, it’s about breaking someone down both mentally and emotionally until they crumble under the weight of the perpetrator’s whims.
And this mentality is why a lot of people in law enforcement and the military suffer in silence, because of this type of shame. I will also note here that Kendis falls into that category because she was an Auror at the time of Chester’s attack.
I will also say that this: Trauma doesn’t replace trauma. That is not how trauma works. Even if you experience something truly horrific, the new trauma you experience will just add to the overflowing pile.
And I am not dipping into how trans women of color are more likely to be victimized and killed because the police do not take their cases seriously at all. Trans women are four times more likely to experience violence than cisgender women.
There is a reason why I am telling this story in the way I am telling it. Because this is a conversation that we need to talk about. The way that the world had deionized weakness and victimhood is just competent with rape culture.
Kendis is no less badass because she has been victimized most of her life. In this story, I show Kendis being vulnerable and scared because she has every right to be so no matter what she has experienced in the past. I show Kendis breaking down and getting comfort without judgment as every victim should.
