Tony looked at the white, rectangular building with some trepidation. He eyed the pink and purple neon sign that sat above the door, which said ‘Miscellany’ in cursive script. With a grimace, Tony sighed. Beside him, Kendis rolled her eyes.

“If you are done being a posh wanker? Let’s go!” She got out of the car and waited for him impatiently by the door.

Tony rolled his eyes because she loved to tease him about being posh, but she was just as wealthy as he was and actually nobility, for Christ’s sake. But he didn’t want to get into that old argument, so with a put-upon sigh, Tony got out and ignored the impulse to check his car’s alarm.

Any would-be car thieves had a nasty surprise waiting for them. Tony walked around the corner and took her hand. Kendis sighed as she laced his fingers with hers.

“You don’t have to be nervous,” Kendis said softly as she squeezed his hand.

“I’m not nervous,” Tony said quickly. “I just—” Tony knew how important her friends were to Kendis. Tony barely came out of the encounter with Kendis’s best friends, Hermione, Ron, Jason, and Ian, unscathed.

And Tony was meeting Jason and Ian on their own territory; besides Kendis’s employees, Hortense and Isiah would be there as well. Tony hated being outnumbered!

This was only the beginning; he was dreading the upcoming meeting with Kendis’s five other pseudo-older brothers.

Although Kendis had warned him that the worst would come from their mother, Molly.

“She’s protective, and she tends to be a bit…overenthusiastic,” Kendis had told him, with a wince. She reluctantly told him about the Howler that she got from the Weasley matriarch, and then Kendis had to briefly explain what a Howler was.

And, God, the thought of a red smoking envelope screaming at him in a stern, disappointed mom voice was utterly terrifying.

Apparently, Ron (that weasel) had spilled the beans about their marriage, and the Weasley family was in an uproar.

Tony was abruptly brought out of his thoughts as Kendis started pulling him to the door. He spotted the bisexual pride flag on one window and the progress pride flag on the other.

“Deep breaths, love,” Kendis whispered in his ear and squeezed his hand again. The place didn’t look much different from other dive bars he had been to. It was fairly crowded, with people standing shoulder to shoulder at the bar as Ian and Jason served drinks to the patrons.

Kendis led him through the crowd near the booths as Golden Years by David Bowie played loudly over the juke box. In one of the booths he saw Hortense, the curvy Black woman he had met back at Kendis’s shop.

Next to her was a man with dark brown skin and a bald head and a jovial smile that must be Isiah. He had his arms around Hortense as they talked to each other.

The woman looked up as they approached their booth and smiled, “Hey, you made it!”

“I told you we would be here.” Kendis rolled her eyes as she pulled away from him to reach over the table to hug her friend.

Isiah’s eyes slide over to Tony, awkwardly standing there. He was expecting the usual wide-eyed, starstruck look he usually got from new people, but the other man just turned to Kendis and asked, “So this is your new boy toy?”

Kendis snorted, and then she hurried back to Tony’s side and took his hand again. “This is Tony.”

“Tony,” she turned to him. “This is my dear friend Hortense Cooper and her boyfriend Isiah Cups.”

“Hi,” Isiah said as he shook Tony’s hand and gave him a bright smile.

“Well, if you had to get with a white man, at least he’s rich.” Hortense pursed her lips. “And not that bad-looking.”

“Stop taking the piss, Tensie.” Kendis rolled her eyes. “Just give him a chance.”

Hortense crossed her arms and sighed in resignation. She gestured to the space across from her and Isaiah. “You two might as well take a seat.”

An awkward silence fell between the four of them as Tony and Kendis squeezed into the booth. Hortense coughed, “I don’t care if you are richer than Malfoy. Did you hurt my friend? I will kill you, and no one will ever find your body.”

“First of all, Hermione, Ron, Ian, and Jason beat you to the shovel talk,” Kendis pointed out. “The last time I checked, hexing muggles is illegal, and I know damn well you wouldn’t risk going to prison for anyone.”

“I’ll pay someone to do it,” Hortense replied seriously as she examined her sharp-looking purple nails. “I have connections.”

Kendis snorted, and Isiah threw his head back and laughed.

“You are dangerous,” Tony whistled, impressed. “Turns out I have a thing for dangerous people.” He picked up Kendis’s hands and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.

Tony barely bit back a delighted smile as he felt the metal of Kendis’ engagement ring brushed his lips.

Kendis had cast a notice-me-not spell, but she modified it so that only Tony would be able to notice. The press was already rabid after Kendis’s debut on the red carpet and after the clusterfuck of the Apogee Awards. But they would go apeshit if they found out that Tony and Kendis were already married.

They both agreed that they would have a long engagement and then a public wedding once they were ready.

So, until then their marriage was sealed from the public, and Kendis’s engagement ring was under wraps.

“Hey, Dis, long time no see,” said a voice, and they turned to see a fresh-faced white man who looked to be around his early twenties with curly red hair, grinning at them. Tony vaguely remembered him in the race.

“Hey Richie!” Kendis said. She nodded to the pad and pencil in his hand. “Ian and Jason putting you to work, I see.”

“Their new server ghosted them,” Richie said, rolling his eyes. He turned to look at Tony, and his eyes went wide. “Holy shit! That’s Tony Stark!”

Richie was loud enough to get the attention of their neighbors.

“Richie!” Kendis hissed. “Say it louder; I don’t think the aliens on Mars could hear you.”

Richie snorted, “Well, that’s what you get for not telling me that Tony Stark would be here. Rumor has it he slept with the entire Playboy calendar.”

Hortense whipped her head over to Tony and glared, and he raised his hands.

“I did,” Tony admitted. “But it was all sane, safe, and consensual.”

“And you can’t really judge,” Kendis pointed out. “You remember that time with Darrell, Andrew, and Beryl?”

“Kendis, I thought you promised you wouldn’t bring that up. And besides, it was only one time, and I was drunk.” Hortense hissed. “And that was way before I met—“

She grimaced at Isiah.

“No worries, Tensie.” Isaiah shrugged, giving her a fond smile. “I don’t judge you for what you did before we were in a relationship.”

“Just like I don’t judge Tony for what he did before we got together.” Kendis pointed out and then sighed. “I trust him, Hortense.”

Richie coughed and quickly took their orders before he scurried off to get their drinks.

“Truce?” Tony asked, putting up his hand.

Hortense eyed it for a moment and then sighed and shook it. “Truce!”

“Welcome to the asylum,” Isiah laughed. “I promise you, it is only going to get more insane from here.

Tony grinned back, “Bring it on.”